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Author asks, 'Why didn't he call back?'

October 7, 2009 12:00:00 AM PDT
A dating coach and author interviewed 1,000 men about their common dating complaints.The dating game can be hard to play, especially when it really turns into a game. That's what prompted one dating coach to become a researcher and find the answers to a common question: Why didn't he call back? She interviewed 1,000 men and the answers are revealing.

You talk. You laugh. You seem to connect. So why then do men sometimes never call again?

"I have gone out with someone and they say they are going to call. They never call. I just don't get that. I think they are jerks for saying that, actually," said one frustrated female dater.

To find out, dating coach Rachel Greenwald researched her clients' complaints and wrote the book "Why He Didn't Call You Back."

"I have collected interviews with 1,000 single men and found out that there are clear and consistent patterns about why men don't call back," said Greenwald.

Theo Wilson was one of them.

"Basically, if I didn't like a girl, I would be like, 'Yeah, I'll call you, sweet, I will call you,' and I didn't," said Wilson.

"These reasons were shocking and counter-intuitive," said Greenwald.

For example, thank a man during the date or at the door, but never send a follow-up thank you.

"Men said if they really like someone, they want to make the next move," said Greenwald.

Avoid being a downer. "This is a woman negative, or complaining or pessimistic," said Greenwald.

And even worse, the number one reason why men don't call back? "Boss Lady" behavior.

"This is the woman who is fantastic. She is accomplished and dynamic and attractive, but she gives off a 'business' vibe," said Greenwald.

Of course, some men say the sword cuts both ways.

"We will call the woman back and we will most often -- what we hear is, 'Oh, you are a really nice guy, but ... '" said one male dater.

But many women say nice guys call back.

Another first date rule: never bring up your ex or ask about his.

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