For this meaty assignment, I called upon twins Tess and Sophie DeWulf, two self proclaimed bacon lovers who put the pork-flavored products to a taste test.
"The popcorn - I would definitely get, like sitting down watching a movie, it would be really good," said Sofie DeWulf.
Bacon Pop is a hit. There are three servings to a bag, with 8 grams of fat and 140 calories to a serving. It also has a couple grams of fiber, but no bacon in the bag except for flavor. A three-pack can be purchased for $3.99.
Two other pork-free products from J&D's Foods - bacon salt for 4.49 and bacon rub for $5.99.
Bacon salt is fat- and bacon-free, with zero calories for a quarter teaspoon. But it is salt after all, so that serving has 135 milligrams of sodium. It also contains a scant amount of monosodium glutamate for those who are sensitive.
A better choice might be the bacon rub with brown sugar, paprika and spices that is great for grilling. After a taste, Tess DeWulf said, "It's pretty good."
And if you can't eat it, wear it. The bacon balm, sold at $3.99, is a calorie-free way to smell that savory bacon while aromatically keeping those lips from being chapped.
If you head to the Original Farmer's Market, pop into Monsieur Marcel's for two products that do contain a mere hint of pork: Maple Bacon Plush Puffs for $6.50 and Bacon Skillet Jam for $11.69.
"The marshmallows tasted more a little bit like pancakes with syrup so it was more like a maplely flavor," Sofie DeWulf said.
The marshmallows are more sweet than savory, and the jam goes great with eggs or topped on toast for a sandwich. The options are endless.
MMvelopes, sold for $6.99, is a product that will have you licking your lips, literally. That's right, bacon-flavored envelopes - great for vegetarians and no refrigeration needed. Their motto? Lick it, love it, mail it.