20 years later: Kim Goldman opens up about OJ Simpson verdict

LOS ANGELES (KABC) -- It's been nearly 20 years since O.J. Simpson was found not guilty of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

Twenty years after the verdict, Ron's sister, Kim Goldman, says she is still coping with the not guilty verdicts read inside the courtroom.

"When we got to the doors to walk into the courtroom, I stood frozen. I couldn't make it across the threshold," said Goldman. "And a friend of mine who's a DA investigator just pushed me over and said, 'You've got this. You're strong. You can handle it.' And the rest is sort of history when you watch the playback."

"We the jury in the above entitled action find the defendant, Orenthal James Simpson, not guilty of the crime of murder," was read in the courtroom.

"You know, a lot of it is a blur in terms of...I could remember feeling my heart like thumping so loudly that I thought it was going to pop out of my chest," said Goldman.

After the verdict was read in the murder of Brown, she says she remembers telling everybody to be quiet because she wanted to hear what the jury had decided about her brother's murder.

"I was thinking that Ron's verdict may be different. I don't know why I thought that, but I wanted to hear Ron's verdict loud and clear," said Goldman. "Obviously again we know what that was, and I just couldn't believe it. I felt shock and despair and betrayal, and Judge Ito told everybody to quiet down and tried to get control of the courtroom. We just got up and walked out."

Since the verdict, she's written two books. Her latest, titled "Media Circus," was released last week. It's a book on how families have coped with tragedy in the public eye.

"The book is not about me. It's not about our family," said Goldman. "But because of my experience, I was able to elicit such honesty from these families because the media have never asked what it was like to live the private tragedy in the public eye."

So how does Goldman plan on marking the 20th anniversary of the O.J. Simpson verdict on Saturday? She says she's going to be in a happy place, attending the wedding of a good friend.