'The Bachelorette' Jenn's blast from the past, should she let an ex join the show?
NEW YORK -- Jenn and her final 12 men landed in Auckland, New Zealand this week. The guys arrived by sailboat and it was stunningly beautiful! As the guys enjoyed some drinks and snacks, Jesse Palmer and Jenn enjoyed their lunch. It was revealed that the reason they don't eat "real" food on one-on-one dates anymore is because Jesse was scarfing the food down and talking with food in his mouth the entire time with his dates. So, he admitted, he ruined it for everyone, ha!
Gina: The fourth wall is broken a little bit and the mystery is solved. Thanks, Jesse for letting us all know the truth!
Listen to this week's "Playing the Field" podcast recapping episode 4
Sam M.'s One-on-One Date
Jenn met up with the men and asked Sam M. if he would go on the first one-on-one date with her. Devin thinks Sam M. will bomb on this date because now he has to have a real conversation with Jenn. There's no way out! Sam M. and Jenn went up to the top of the Sky Tower for some drinks, and they noticed some people jumping down the tower. Jenn doesn't like heights and doesn't want to try it, she wanted to do the walk around the tower instead. Sam M. said no, I think we should walk around the tower. He told her that 50 years from now she'd be glad she did the jump. Jenn was digging her heels in and seemed frustrated that he was trying to make the decision without understanding her feelings. He said, "OK, fine, let's just go on a walk upstairs then."
Gina: This whole scene had me seething. Sam thinking it's OK to say "no, we would like to jump" without even asking Jenn if she wanted to or noticing that she was freaking out had me yelling at my TV screen. That's not OK. Not at all. If you're in a relationship, you care about what the other is thinking and feeling and he just seemed to have zero regard for her feelings and her genuine fear at that moment. Huge red flag in my eyes. Jenn even said, "This is a two person decision, did you just make the decision for me to jump??" I was blinded by all the red flags I saw in that exchange.
Sam M. said he wanted her to be comfortable being uncomfortable. So they suited up and decided to do the skywalk before deciding if they would do the jump. The wind was gusting and Jenn was freaking out. Jenn said it was worse seeing the ground and knowing that you could fall. Sam M. told Jenn to go over to him and give him a kiss. She said she felt very alone and hated that he wasn't reading her emotions. Jenn felt like he was in it for himself. That's when he stepped back off the ledge and he grabbed her and hugged her and told her not to worry, it was fine if they didn't do it. Once she felt heard and understood, she decided she would do the jump. She jumped down alone, and then Sam M. followed! She was happy she did it, but doesn't ever want to do it again. Sam M. kissed her when he got to the bottom and she was hopeful that this experience bonded them.
Gina: In Jenn's eyes, he redeemed himself, but not in mine! You know they were filming for longer than they showed us in the episode, so it took him that long to finally realize what was happening? No, sir.
Group Date Card Arrives
The group date card arrived at the hotel and it read, "Spencer, Marcus, Grant, John M., Austin, Jonathon, Dylan, Thomas, Jeremy, Sam N., Let's give love a try." That meant Devin was getting the other one-on-one date.
Sam M. and Jenn's Evening Date
Jenn told Sam M. that she felt the day got the best of her and it was hard for her to show him who she really was because in the past it hadn't worked out. Sam M. told her that he'd never stop working for her. He said he wants a wild, passionate, intimate, love. Jenn said that describes her, but that she's been afraid and her parents' divorce had a negative impact on her outlook on love. She felt unworthy of true love. She cried as she revealed this to Sam M. and he whispered, "You are worthy, you deserve it." She said she felt messed up and Sam M. told her that she wasn't. Sam M. said that he is very serious about this whole process and he wants a ferocious love like she wants. Sam M. said the second he got engaged to his ex, he knew something was off and he found out there was another guy. He said the rug got pulled out from under his feet. He did a good job revealing his past to Jenn and talking about his feelings. Jenn offered him the date rose! He accepted and they kissed! And boy did they kiss! Jenn said she's falling for Sam M. and he's someone she can see a future with. Wow!
Gina: To me, Sam saying that expressing his feelings with words hasn't been his strong suit told me more about him than anything he revealed in the conversation. That's why he always gravitates to the physical, at least in my opinion. It also felt like Jenn was pouring her heart out and it took a lot of effort to finally get him to say anything about himself and his own life.
Group Date
The guys ran to meet Jenn at a rugby field and they couldn't wait to get their chance to give her a hug. As they headed to the pitch, there was a ceremonial Haka dance. The guys said it got them fired up for what they were about to do. Sam N. sidled up to Jenn and did his best to make some small moments with her. They played together and he picked her up and even carried her away at one point. It was like he channeling Devin.
Gina: The good about this date: seeing the New Zealand players doing Haka, which I always find so moving! The bad about this date: Sam N's intensity. It was overwhelming.
Um, Sam and Devin are Alone Together
So back at the hotel, Sam M. and Devin were left to their devices. Sam M. said what's you deal with me? He kept saying your name doesn't even come out of my mouth, but it does. They kept saying that they didn't respect each other or like each other. It was so awkward!
Gina: I love how Sam M. swears up and down that Devin's name never comes out of his mouth, but yet a minute and a half into this very episode, we heard him yapping about Devin. And then in this moment, he had to ask if Devin had a problem with him. My guy, Devin doesn't have a problem with anyone and I think that's why YOU have a problem with him! He said Devin wasn't worth a second of his time, and yet there he was talking about him. Come on, Sam. My take on this whole Devin/Sam situation is that Sam is used to being the top dog, the best looking guy in the room who has no problem getting the attention of the ladies. Here comes Devin, who is cool and confident and is getting the time and making the connection with Jenn and Sam doesn't like that one bit. So that's a Sam problem, not vice versa.
Group Date Rugby Game
Meantime, back on the pitch, it was time for "The Bachelorette Rugby Royal." John showed off some good skills, as did Jonathon for the other team. It got a little intense at times and the guys were not holding back. Sam N. was very aggressive with the tackles, and he wrote "Jenn's Husband" on his jersey. In the end, the blue team won and that was Sam N.'s team. No surprise, Thomas N. was upset that it became the Sam N. show.
Group Date Cocktail Party
Sam N. was making even Jonathon upset with his swagger. They were on the same team! He wouldn't even let Marcus sit down on the couch! He grabbed Jenn's hand immediately after the toast and led her off to talk. He brought Jenn a jersey that said "Sam's Wife." Spencer told the other guys as Sam N. was talking to Jenn to just let it play out because Jenn is smart and will make good decisions. Sam N. said that his entire focus is her and that he wants to propose to her in the end. He is on some "Boss Bitch Energy." Um, OK! We get it, dude, you need to calm down a little bit!
Gina: Yeah, when you lose calm and cool Jonathon, that's a problem! Sam turned up the intensity even more than he did on the pitch and that was off-putting to everyone.
Jonathon had some lacrosse sticks since they both played in college, and she had a great time tossing the ball around together. There are some definite sparks between these two! He's got a great, relaxed vibe. I like him!
Gina: I like their energy together! It's cute.
Grant also continued to grow his relationship with Jenn by being slow and steady with some great conversation and giving her a great kiss at the end. Jenn said she always feels at ease with him. She also seemed very excited to see Jeremy again.
Grant told Sam N. that he's proud of him for being so confident, but he's not being gracious about it. Sam N. said that he's trying to prove that he's making Jenn a priority. Jonathon told him he was being disrespectful. Sam N. got up and walked away. The other guys should just ignore it.
Jenn brought her stethoscope to check Marcus out because he had gotten hurt on the field and he seemed to love it! He tried to assure her that he was fine, but that he's been through worse. Jenn said that she thought back to their one-on-one date and she didn't want him to feel alone again when he's in pain and going through a tough time. Marcus said it was hard to open up, but it seemed like their relationship took a step forward here.
Gina: Marcus has been through a lot and he admits he doesn't want anyone feeling bad for him. Jenn telling him that he doesn't always have to be the strong one, that she can help carry was so sweet and that moment made me teary. And then I got even more teary when Marcus talked about how he felt like it was selfish to ask someone else to carry the burdens he's been carrying alone. Jenn truly cares about him and I love seeing their connection. It's so different from the others and, I think, something special.
Sam N. told the group that he thought he was a lock for the group date rose. Thomas N. told Sam N. that he had a bone to pick with him. Why does this guy always have to have a problem with these guys? He should just ignore it! So, he went in to talk to Jenn about the history of his family and Jenn seemed receptive, but Sam N. interrupted them. Grant couldn't believe that Sam N. interrupted Thomas and said, "He needs a spanking." Sam N. asked Jenn if they could kiss, and Jenn, she wasn't having it. She told him that she admired and appreciated him, but she didn't feel like they would get there in the end and she didn't want to lead him on. Sam N. tried to stop her, but she sent him home. Yikes. He was gracious about it, and the other men celebrated her decision. As Sam N. drove off he said he was confused. Well, he did the steps but didn't do the work... does that make sense? He never really got to know her. In the end, Jenn gave the group date rose to Marcus!
Gina: Seeing the exchange with Marcus and then seeing this whole Sam N. mess just shows you how different the maturity levels are in this group. Even the guys saw it. While they were annoyed by Sam N, they were touched by Marcus getting emotional after receiving the rose. They truly respect him and I love that. As for Sam N., he has some growing up to do and I hope that he does that before we see him on "Bachelor In Paradise" because you know that's coming!!
Devin's One-on-One Date
Jenn and Devin met up and he admitted that he was nervous! They were going to learn about the Maori culture in New Zealand. There was a welcome celebration and then they were welcomed into the community and Devin really embraced it all. He talked about how he's lived all over the US, but his home is with his mom. He was so gracious and thanked everyone there. He's so sweet! You could tell he really loved learning all about the people and their traditions. It was beautiful.
Jenn shared that she is Buddhist and wants to celebrate going to temple and Lunar New Year with her future family. Devin said he's not very religious but that he wants a happy healthy family and he really wants those things.
Gina: I liked that he said "the protective attitude you have about your culture means a lot" to him and he was really thankful to be there. I bet that helped Jenn feel more comfortable sharing her culture and her traditions.
Jenn and Devin's Evening Date
Devin said that he was falling for Jenn. He said that he loves how she looks at him. He said that his parents were never together and it was a casual fling when his mom was in school, she got pregnant with him, and she dropped out of school. His dad was never really around. His mom was very strong as they moved around, and she went back to college while working two jobs. Devin said he idolized his dad as someone he wanted to go live with but later he realized that his mom was the strong one and was better than any dad he ever could have had. Jenn said that her mom was her rock as well and she feels really connected to Devin through that. She said that once the divorce happened he forgot about her. He didn't even remember her birthday. Devin said to have a father growing up and then to lose that has to be devastating. He's so emotionally intelligent. He also really listens to her when she talks.
Devin told Jenn that he was falling for her. Jenn teared up! "I just want to celebrate you every single day as long as I can," Devin said. Jenn said that she never felt appreciated the way that Devin made her feel. Jenn gave Devin the group date rose! An opera singer performed as they kissed on the stage of a great theater in Auckland. It was so beautiful! She said she could see him being her future fiancé!
Gina: Their whole conversation at dinner just had this ease and comfort about it. They have this undeniable connection and they do seem like they could go the distance! I also have to say I really love Jenn being so vulnerable and talking about how she hadn't known her worth before. I think we can all admit we've felt this way at one time or another in relationships and in life and to hear her talk about it and seeing her come into her own and come into her power is an amazing part of this journey. I really do like her as the Bachelorette and I hope that this experience is everything she wants it to be.
Surprise! Blast from the Past!
Jesse learned that a man from Jenn's past had flown to New Zealand on his own dime just to talk to her. Jesse said he plans to talk to him first and then they'll see what happens. Matthew said they dated three days ago and they dated three or four months but have gotten back together a few times since. He wanted to show up and see if there was a future with them. He told Jenn that he blew off their friend's weddings to be there with her. He thinks they will always have a part of them that's in love. Jenn said that Matt is not the guy who messed her up and is toxic. She thought they were just friends again. "We've had so many chances, we've been through a lot, I feel like this is coming out of nowhere," Jenn said. Matt thought that she was one of the most important people in his life and Jenn was shocked. "I really do love you," he said. "Matthew!" Jenn said. He then told Jenn that he would join her on this journey if she would allow him to do so.
Gina: I love the foreshadowing just before this, where Spencer says he's just waiting for everything to kinda fall apart. As for this encounter, I like how Jenn said, "You know you could have said this before I left," because she's right! Is he doing this for the right reasons? I have questions!
Next Week
Jenn breaks the news to the guys that her ex is joining the rest of the guys at the rose ceremony and that he might be joining them in the house. Some of the guys trust her, but others are upset that some other guy from her past wandered his way back to him. Jenn says as much as she wants to end up engaged at the end of this, she also can see one where she ends up alone. I can't wait for next week!
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